Where are we now?

It’s only when you look back,
you realise how far you have come.

I don’t know why I still hope for a conversation between the two of us when I know that I am the last thing you want to see on earth. It’s funny how two strangers can become so close, they become one soul, their hearts beat for each other, their each breath goes for the other. And how time brings us back to day one, where neither of us know who the other person is or what s/he has become.

But let me be honest, I still look at those memories with the same heart which you once held and took care of, I still run my fingers through those pages of the diary looking for the thoughts I had written for you. “I miss you and I miss us”, it’s something I don’t say anymore, but “why us” and “why now” are the questions which I keep asking myself and the God.

I still haven’t found the answer, everytime I look for an answer I am reminded by the beautiful memories I had with you, the voice that used to change my mood from sad winter night to a happy spring morning. How that one giggle would make me crave for you, I wish you had seen it, because I could never experience the same feelings again, I tried but I failed. I can’t keep getting on the ride with someone else trying to find lost pieces of you in them. It’s futile to look for you in the faces and hearts of others when I myself hold a part of you in me. Now tell me, can I really forget you?
It’s me, it’s you,
It’s us, it’s we,
I wish I could have said these to you,
When I was held close by you…

“One man’s pain is another man’s poetry”

She tasted like poetry and magic. She was everything a man could ever have. She was broken, only if she were with me, I would give her my wings to fly so high that she wouldn’t need to look back again at those wounds. She still smiles, she still feels alone, she still craves for happiness, I can feel it, I just hope that’s not true, that this time, she’s truly happy, that she’s learning to letting go.

I have always wanted her to believe in magic, she made it come true for both of us, I told you, she was my type of girl, she was so imperfect, so many flaws, yet I embrace her flaws so proudly, you see, loving the imperfections was all I wanted and then I met her.

It’s been a while, we haven’t seen each other and haven’t let our hearts do the talking. But, this TIME, this is crazy, if no god or evil could draw us apart, time did the work for us. This is just crazy. I still can’t get her off my head. Infact, I don’t want to. She was my first real love, how can I forget her, how can I hate her, how can I move on when I know it was all real. We both were so different yet so similar.

I don’t know how I can not see a single flaw in you and a million in myself. This is how much I adore her. Yes, she’s crazy, but she’s still different. Yes, she hates me, but I still miss her. I wish that we will never forget each other, because you made me feel things and made us believe in magic. Till the time we meet again, I’ll keep on writing letters to the universe in a hope that you’ll receive atleast one of them.

For all, who lost.

This one is not for me, not for my favourite person, it’s about love, it’s about everyone!

Why, why can’t we stay forever with the person we fall in love with.

We feel things, we share things, we share stories, we be each other’s favourite memories, but what makes this feeling turn itself into a not so sweet feeling. We still feel the same, we still skip our heart beats when someone calls their name, we still feel shattered when someone talks about them, then why is the love hollowing us from within, when it should fill us with joy. Or maybe it’s the ignorance and separation of two humans that breaks us every night, every moment, that forces us to hold on a little longer.

I have fallen in love too. and I too break every moment now, I too feel lost when someone calls her name. When I hear that name, I still miss that person’s everything. I still miss that sweet voice, that was my favourite song actually, I could never tell her that. If I could trade my happiness for her’s, I would do it with no second thought. Because that’s how much I love her, and that’s how much I miss her.

So, can we really have a happy ending with the ones that we call our favorites, can we really?

अधूरी कहानी के अधूरे शब्द।

पागल भी बोला,
नादान भी बोला,
ना जाने उसको इस
दुनिया ने क्या क्या बोला,
हा सच क्या था,
ये किसी ने ना जाना,
पर फिर एक दिन
हां मैंने उसको जाना,
उन आंखो में पढ़ वो बाते,
उन गहराइयों को जाना,
बिना हाथ थामे मैंने
किसीको आज तक ना समझा,
पर हा उस दिन तुम्हे जाना।
माफ़ करना कोई भूल हुई हो तो,
उसको गलती समझ माफ़ कर देना,
इंसान ही हूं यार कुछ खास तो कुछ पराया,
ये ही मान मुझे देख मुस्कुरा दिया करना,
उन रूखी आंखो में मुस्कुराहट देख मेरी,
हो सके तो ज़रा सा मुस्कुरा दिया करना।

The Void

The air starts to feel empty again,
My Body remains still,
My Eyes are wide awake
And In this darkness I see you crystal clear.

Your smile is the same like it was the first time you and I had seen each other,
I try to utter words,
But that smile just fades away the moment I stretch my hand to hold you,
The darkness comes again,
Your face starts to disappear,
The sound of heartbeats now changes to your agonies,
I call you but no one’s there,
I search for you,
But all I see is the last image I saw of you.

Oh dear, how painful nights are,
When the whole world sleeps I look for you in that emptiness,
When the moon shines its light right over me I look at it and call your name,
In a hope that the wind will carry it to you.

I hope we meet again,
Maybe today, or someday else,
But I’ll save my words for the day I’ll see you again,
In a hope to call you mine again…

Ek band kitaab sa khamosh mein…

Ek band kitaab sa khamosh mein,
Kisi kone me chupa pada ek khamosh toofan me,
Kisi shaant dariya ka chhota sa hissa mein,
Aur usi dariya me ek machli ki tarah teri talaash kar raha mein.
Ek aisi hi kitab me jeevan mera,
Kuch adhayaye the jinko tumne mere chahne par bhi pooora na likha,
to kuch ko tumne mere na chahte hue bhi poora kia.
Kuch yu hai meri uss kitaab k haal
Ki Kuch khamosh se hai mere bol,
to kuch khamoshi se hi mere kitab me likhe gaye kuch bol.
Kisi lekhak k adhoore adhayaye ka ek poora ansh mehsoos si hoti h tu,
Toh vahi na jaane kyu
Kyu, mere un khamosh lafzo ko ek sahara dene chali  tu,
Aakhir kyu meri kitaab ka ek hissa bann chali tu,
Kyu itne khamosh se hai hum, kyu itne shant se hai hum,
Kyu vo kitaab hai kahi band,
Aakhir kyu uss kitaab me abhi bhi khamosh pade hai mere vo bol.
Ek band kitab sa khamosh mein..

Not that I don’t miss you now.

Not that I don’t miss you now,
I’ts just that I don’t want to be the one dragging you down again
But I wish for it every day,
If it were possible for me to start it all over again,
I would do whatever it would take to get you stay by my side no matter what the circumstances will be.
Not that I don’t miss you now,
It’s just that I can’t face you now.
Although I am better than before,
I feel more than before now,
But no matter how much I improve
My reflection would still be far more darker than yours,
And no matter how much light you shine,
It will just fade away the moment you’ll arrive
Darling my night here calls your name every day,
It longs for the touch it felt a long time ago
It shouts for your name,
But it fails to reach your heart.
I wonder what the night in your part of the town feels like.
Sometimes I look at the moon and I wonder,
That it might be the only thing that you and I have in common at night
My diary bleeds everytime I write your story,
The words melt everytime I write my feelings,
The air suddenly feels empty again
I see you but I can’t feel you again
I miss you but I can’t talk to you again.
Not that I don’t miss you now…

Aisa kuch khwaab mera.

kuch toota sa, kuch adhoora sa,
haan aisa hi kuch mera khwaab hai,
vifalataaon se bhara mera mann, aaj vo bhi meri tarah lachaar hai.
Cheekhu, roou ya hassu, ab unka yehi ek anjaam hai,
aankho me nakaamiyan, aur zubaan par bus bikhre alfaaz hai.
Himmat bhi jutaai, aur haunsloo ko bhi buland kia,
par shayad ek baar fir mere darr ne mujay samet lia.
Rukka bhi, thama bhi, socha shyad aisi hi hogi meri zindagi,
chah kar bhi ab kuch na hoga mumkin, koshishe bhi ab awaazein laga rahi thi,
maidan chorh, ghar laut, sirf yehi baat mujse keh rahi thi.
Par, ek baar fir apne dill ki sunni, iss baar kuch karu,
haan kuch isi tarah khud ko ye baat boli.
bus, fir kya tha, kahaani iss nadaan ki abhi khatam na hui,
safar toh chalu hua tha bus, yehi baat duniya ne uss se kahi.


अधूरे अधूरे से कुछ हम,

टूटे टूटे से कुछ तुम।

क्यों तुम उन नज़रों को झुकाए पलों को गवा दिया करते हो,

क्यों तुम उन आंखों में सपने देख,

खुद को मार दिया करते हो,

क्यों तुम उन सबको याद कर,

रूठ जाया करते हो।

ज़रा दो पल उन नज़रों को उठा कर तो देखो,

आंगन में फूलों को सजा कर तो देखो,

उन कांटो को हटा,

कुछ ख्वाब बुन्न कर तो देखो,

मेरा हाथ थाम, उन

काले सपनों को भुला कर तो देखो,

मेरी आंखों में देख उन नज़ारों को,

एक बार फिर जी कर तो देखो।

आखिर क्यों?

क्यों है इतने अधूरे-अधूरे से हम,

और इतने टूटे-टूटे से तुम।

Oh, the way it feels.

Teach me how to be really happy from inside,

touch my heart for the last time, mend those cracks again that were once so close,

make me go to sleep with no regrets once again,

I want to feel how it feels to be really happy.

Make me crave for what I have and not for what I lost, once again.
Make me talk crazy again,

make me a better human again,

make me feel alive again.

Make me hold you again, darling, because this night is breaking me again, and I can’t make anyone hear about it, again.
Words are pushing their way out of my mouth, again, but earlier it was for the right time and this time it is for the uncertain hour.

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